Okay, so I'm on he hunt for a new apartment and in running into such a hassle with my dog. Everyone I message says that the dog is a deal breaker--not because the building doesn't allow it, but because they don't want a dog in the house.
Tough cookies, yo. Ya girl needs somewhere to live, and unless you give me a paper signed by your doctor saying you're deathly allergic to dogs, you're gonna have to deal with it.
I'm thinking of just not telling people I have a dog so I don't get shut down. I've been looking in buildings that specifically allow pets, just to save myself a headache, so there wouldn't be any issue with the actual leases. I'd basically just show up with my dog on move in day. If I don't specifically disclose it to my roommates, can they do anything? Besides be upset at it?
I mean that would be pretty shitty on your part. I love animals but that doesn't mean everyone does (or should have to).
Besides being allergic, having animals is a lot of work. You have to take them out to pee, feed them, bathe them, etc. On top of that, you have to worry about shedding, cleaning up after them, barking, and other things that come along with dogs.
You can't blame people for not wanting to be subjected to that. I'd personally be livid if I found out the person I signed a lease with hid the fact that they had a dog and I was against it. (Shoot, even though I love dogs I'd be greatly annoyed I wasn't told prior). Not the way you want to start your year of living with someone else. It might take you loner to find a roommate, but you need to be honest and upfront with people so they know what they're getting into.
Yikes, I would be pissed- but I'm also super allergic to dogs.
I know some people have fear of dogs due to being attacked. My stepmom can't be near large dogs because she was hospitalized as a child from a dog attacking her.
I love dogs but could never live with one (well, due to my allergies of course), but if I allowed someone to live with me and they don't tell me something as important as having a dog in the building, it would cause issues. As far as them being able to do anything about it, I'm not sure. But I wouldn't expect it to go over well- expect arguments, no trust, possible retaliation, etc.
@steelerscaps the thing is, I live in NYC. already a tough housing market. Things get snapped up, and the way things are I can't afford to wait longer to find a place. I need one, simple as that.
Plus, no one else would be subject to taking care of my dog. In fact I'd prefer they didn't, I don't trust other people taking care of him. So no one would have to worry about that. He doesn't bark, and barely sheds, 99% of which I take care of by brushing him through almost every day. He's an incredibly smart dog, he's been trained to wait in bed until we get home.
This whole process has been ridiculous, and people actually get so rude sometimes when I say I have a dog. I'm done with that BS.
Girl, I love your posts and opinions. But I disagree with you on this one. Some people don't like dogs, or may even be afraid of them. I agree with everything steelercaps said - there are lots of reasons someone may not want a dog. Even though it's your dog and your responsibility, your roommate(s) will still have to interact with the dog, and have the dog in their space and shared spaces. It's not fair to put people in that situation unless they agree to it. Plus if you start off lying to your new roommate(s), it's going to set a really bad tone with them. hopefully you'll find a roommate soon who's okay with the dog.
Yeah that's not ok, especially if you are moving into an apartment they've already been living in. For a lot of people, a pet owned by one roommate turns into everyone's responsibility and that's probably why they're saying it's a dealbreaker. It's happened to me, to my boyfriend's best friend, to both my former roommates... it's common. You should definitely disclose the dog. I know some people do shitty things (my boyfriend's sister's dog was fed things it shouldn't have been and she had to move because she got a dog without asking her roommates) so keep hunting. Yes you need a home, but other people also deserve to have what they want in their homes as well.
Those are all things I would mention to potential roommates. I feel your pain; I have pups too and even though they're low maintenance and well behaved, finding a roommate this past month was a headache. So many people said no because of the dogs (and some were rude about it too).
But I truly feel like it would be wrong to not disclose that info to someone who would be sharing that living space with you. Imagine if roles were reversed and you went to move into an apartment and your new roommate showed up with a dog/cat/snake or whatever and never told you. How would you feel?
They have every right to shut you down if they don't want to live with a dog. It sucks, but it's true. I'm sorry you're not able to find someone who wants to live with a dog, and that they're being rude, but they're not doing anything wrong.
As someone who is also trying to find an apartment in NYC right now, I find that doing that would lack basic human courtesy, and respect.
@steelerscaps honestky I wouldn't care. I guess I see it differently than most people, but if you're paying your far share and keep up with cleanliness and such, you can do whatever you like in the apartment you help pay for. If you wanna bring a pet home by all means go for it.
Of course I'm going to keep looking and I want to find roommates that are happy to have a dog in the house, but at the end of the day I put Shiloh's wellbeing before even my own--and certainly well before any one else's feelings. That's my son right there, the reason I'm getting to frantic is because he needs a safe place to live. Me on my own, I have plenty of friends that I could couch hop to and from, but it's not safe for a dog to constantly be moving and changing places. He needs a home, and I have to give that to him. Call me a crazy dog lady, but I refuse to have my dog be homeless. If it means I have to upset some roommates, I will do it without shame. Like I said, he comes first before anything.
@ladymuse9 I love your commitment to your dog. Just be careful. There are a lot of crazy people out there. If you don't mention your dog, people could abuse him or try to poison him or even let him out leave him
@bishoujo thank you. He's honestly the most important thing to me on the planet--I probably only care about my mom more than I care about him. I've considered that possibility, which is the one thing making me pause and why I've been disclosing my dog so far. I obviously want him to be safe so I don't want anyone hurting him either. While I still have the time, I'm going to continue letting people know. But I'll install a deadbolt lock on my bedroom door of a have to, to keep him safe while I'm not home.
I love your commitment and your stance, however in acting the way you are you also risk them not liking you or even worse lashing out on not just you, but also your dog. You don't know what people are like and I'd rather be honest and have them accept me and my pets for who I am, than risk them be pissed and take it out on them while I'm not home.
That's very wrong and immature of you to keep quiet about the dog. I have a cat and I love him sooo much, he's my son and idc what anyone says. But if I was going to live with someone and they didn't tell me they had a pet when we met and I found out later I'd be pissed at them and pack my bags. You don't want that person to take their anger out on your pets, it's not their fault.
Just be a grown up about it and if they don't want to roommate with you, then move on to the next one, simple. Hiding the dog and lying will do nothing for you but cause high school drama and make living together a living hell.