I was being nosy and I read my stepdaughter's conversation with her mom. My stepdaughter spends most of her time at her grandma's house (mom's side) and she has cousins in there too. She has a cousin who is one year younger. Her mom works graveyard shift I was mortified when I was reading some of the msgs. I dont know. I dont want to assume. It's going to be trouble and this is a serious issue
Step: Mom, cousin keeps on touching me. Like when I am laying down and he sees a little skin and he asks like he is cool Mom: Tell your grandma. Tell him I know. I will talk to them tom. I will talk to him even his dad is there. Don't play with him anymore. Step: They dont believe me.
Different conversation: Mom: Just lock the door. Step: But they told me not to lock it. I will do it secretly.
I cannot ask her about this because I went through her phone without her consent. She is 12. There's not much information and it's difficult to assume. I just want to make sure she is safe.
I was molested as a kid. I dont know if it was a figment of my imagination but I feel like I was. I can say that it didnt affect me growing up but I wanted to make sure that I am not reading between the lines too much.
Wow that is insane... I don't know what's the right way to handle it, but throwing in an idea for you to consider - what about talking to her mom directly. Her mom obviously believes her, but doesn't seem to be doing anything yet. Maybe she would be easier to approach than your step daughter directly.
There's a thin line to walk with being a stepmom. I think telling her dad about it is your best bet. If her cousin is being inappropriate, someone needs to intervene. Even if she finds out you looked at her phone, her safety is more important. I'm sure she'll eventually be grateful that you were looking out for her.
Let her know that no matter what, she can always come to you. Let your husband know about it. I was a victim when I was a child and I would hurt somebody if I find out my son is in the same situation. It's a forever trauma.
Is there any way that she can stay with you guys more instead of being at the grandmas house?
And yeah, ask her if she is doing okay. Tell her that she can come to you with anything and that you will never judge her if she needs to talk, if she asks why you are asking her that, you can just say that you noticed her acting differently.
If there's a way for her to get out of that situation though and out of that house, that would be extremely helpful for her
'Hey I wanted to talk to you, I know it can be a little weird talking to your step mom, but I wanted you to know no matter how we feel about each other, if we are fighting or not, I'm always here for you. If anything inappropriate happens, you can feel safe telling me.' Then let her talk. Then 'I've noticed you've been acting a little different lately, is everything okay at school? Is someone bothering you?' It's vague enough and not leading she'll tell you if she feels comfortable
I would be really worried about that... And if she is only 12, if you admit to looking through her phone.. She may get over it and not hold a grudge or anything. If anything it may help to talk about it because maybe shes scared to talk about it or feels like nobody is really bearing her out?
I would tell her dad..... if she is reaching out to her mom then she needs someone..... she's only 12 and probably feels so helpless!! The sooner the better... in a situation like this.. who cares how you got the info.
I'm in disbelief that Mom is waiting until next day... I would bust down a front door in a skinny damn minute and the adults, the cousin, and myself would have a word of prayer that they would not soon forget